We all have certain things that drive us bonkers! You know, like the tumbling pile of shoes at the door entry, the residual toothpaste spit trail in the sink, or when someone places the wire veggie strainer in the soaking gooey mac n' cheese pot and you're like, "Dude, that was clean. Now there is melty, gooey cheese stuck in these mesh wires." Yep, certain things just drive us nuts.
Ayurvedically speaking, the doshas have certain preferences and tendencies. Some are more vocal about their dislike while others bite their tongue.
We can use the doshas to strengthen our relationships when we find out what the other person needs, how they work best, how they like to be approached, etc,. Once you find that out, your relationships will be GOLDEN.
Our tendencies are not excuses. They are things to be aware of, worked on and rounded out.
1) Pittas, let the things that drive you cray, roll off. You don't have to correct people and express your opinion all the time. It can be annoying. Trust me, I'm 1/2 pitta and at least 1/2 annoying.
2) Vatas and Kaphas, help our pitta friends do better by NOT pressing their buttons.
We are here to really see one another and help each other succeed. I wrote this with a light-heartedness but it is rooted in sincerity. Sometimes we need a little tough love. Sometimes we need humility. And more often, we need to see from the perspective of another to gain true understanding.
OK! Now for the juicy part...
Pitta dosha rules the eyes so if anything is in disarray, a pitta will likely need to fix it before their mind can focus on anything else. *pittas raise your hands if ya feel that one* Often a pitta has a goal to focus on the most important task at hand, but they can't because they spot a mess and gosh darn it, now they have to clean it up. This derails their awesome focus and drives them crazy!
Messes Antedote: Big projects first. Pittas, be sure to complete your big project musts before you start tidying up. It will be hard, but put your best blinders on and focus. If you don't focus on the meaningful work because you spent time cleaning toast crumbs off the counter, you won't be productive and you'll get resentful! Don't give yourself a chance to resent, just do your work first before you clean up.
Pittas are all about time and are crazy punctual. They are not late, ever. They do drive-bys before appointments. They give the courtesy of being on time, but really dislike it when others keep them waiting. Pittas ninja-organize their time, usually scheduled back to back, so when you're late, *whispering* it makes them crazy. They could have pottied or grabbed some water between meetings or gone to the gym...
Tardiness Antedote: If someone is late, use this as a trigger to do some relaxing deep, slow breaths. Take it as a gift of luxury rather than irritation. It's brilliant. Once you're calm you won't be upset at the latecomer and your meeting will be more productive. YAY!
If projects and processes don't move forward swiftly, pittas may feel time is being wasted. If a pitta doesn't feel productive, it drives them crazy. "Get on with it and let's move forward!", they say. Their existence is to transform, so if something (or someone) is not transforming, they will feel like there is no point. And pittas like points (their sharp quality, remember?).
Wasted Time Antedote: Use your discrimination to tell the difference between "wasted time" and "maybe this just isn't moving as fast as I would like it to." While it may not be according to your ideal timeframe, things are still taking shape. Or, maybe it's time to re-evaluate the project and scrap it if need be.
If you promise a pitta you'll have it done, you'll show up, or they can rely on you, stick to it. If you flake, you'll blow their plans (and their trust!) and that drives pittas crazy! Pittas love plans. And! Pittas don't trust everyone, so if they rely on you to do something, take it as an honor and follow through. Be there for them because they will stand by their word to be there for you.
Lack of Follow Through Antedote: Sometimes people just screw up and sometimes people are notoriously unreliable. Discern the difference. The antedote is to restore your faith quickly by reaching out to one of your most reliable buddies. Asking for help is not within pittas comfort zone, but when you find someone who really pulls through for you, the disappointment of the other issue will dissolve.
Pittas don't mind coaching or mentoring — they actually love it. However, saying the same thing (instructions, reminders, etc.,) more than 3 times and pittas will feel like you're distracted, you don't care or you're wasting their time. Make a pitta happy and just write it down if your memory is no bueno.
Having to Repeat Themselves Antedote: Make them repeat it back to you. The end.
Pittas will often get upset about having to do everything themselves, yet ironically, will likely not ask for help either. So whose fault is that? ;) Because, "Nobody else does it the way I want it, as fast as I want it, or as good as I want it, so I may as well do it myself!" Ok for reals, does that sound familiar!? Ha! Now let's say you do get help, but they don't do it right and you're quick to point it out. They will stop asking to help you because they don't want to be scolded. And then, you'll be doing things yourself...
Having to Do Everything Myself Antedote: Say, "Thank you!!" For any bit of help you are given, thank the dickens out of them. When someone genuinely thanks you, you feel good right? Maybe you want to help them even more! So take notice and sincerely thank them for the little things — this is a relationship game changer, btw — it will inspire them to do more and to give you some thanks, too!!
Pittas follow the rules! So why should other people get away with not following the rules when I follow the rules!? This is what makes pittas great lawyers but can also make them a wee bit annoying when they could just as easily let go and not judge what everybody else is doing.
Not Following the Rules Antedote: Um, let it go. Mind yourself and don't judge or analyze why or what others are doing. It's not your thing to fix. Do your thing with integrity, they will do their thing.
OMG. Why are there 8 things when the headline says 7?! *all the pittas go crazy right here* ;P
BIG LOVE! Go be kind! Take a new viewpoint and make life a little easier for someone else!
If this resonates, I invite you to join our monthly live class on August 16th: Doshas & Relationships. For members only. You can sign up here!
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